Homecoming by Beverly Jenkins

Author:Beverly Jenkins [Jenkins, Beverly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781943772377
Publisher: NYLA

Chapter 6

After listening to her story, Gray decided that it was time for the man he had become to bare his soul and offer her the apology she was due. “I never apologized to you.”

Emotions wafted through Lydia: sadness, loss, anger. She sensed her barriers going up again. “This isn’t necessary, Gray.”

“Yes, is it. I did you a great wrong.”

Lydia remembered the pledge she’d made to her mother about listening to what he might have to say. Lydia also took into account the softening of her own feelings toward him. “Then go ahead,” she said to him.

He reached across the table and placed his large hands on top of hers. The warmth seemed to penetrate to her bones. He looked over into her eyes. “If there was a way for me to go back and undo what I did, I would. I hurt you very badly, and the guilt has been eating at me since the day you left. I wanted to cut out my heart when you left town.”

She whispered plainly, “And I wanted to cut out mine when I heard you were marrying Anna Mae.” Anger was laced with that truth, an anger Lydia now wanted to lay to rest. “My mother’s letters said you weren’t married very long, though.”

He drew away. “No, we weren’t.”

Lydia’s hands felt cold.

“I didn’t love her,” Gray confessed. “Anna Mae had it in her mind that once we became man and wife I would, but of course, I never did.” Gray knew that the reason he’d had no room in his heart for Anna Mae was because he’d already given it to Lydia. “The whole affair was a sham from beginning to end.”

“It must have hurt to know she lost the babe, though.”

His eyes went cold. “There was never any proof that she was carrying.”

Lydia cocked her head. “Surely she would not have lied about something so serious.”

He spoke bitterly: “I learned early on that Anna Mae and her relatives would lie about their names if they thought it would pay. Yes, Anna was thrown from her horse—there were witnesses—but the rest?” He shrugged. “She was taken to her mother’s house immediately after her spill, and the doctor was supposedly brought in. I wasn’t informed until hours later, and when I arrived, her mother told me Anna had miscarried.”

“I’m sorry.”

His mood darkening, he replied, “Don’t be. It’s my fault, all of it.”

Lydia couldn’t dispute that. His youthful lust had resulted in ramifications still echoing today, but her mother was right: he had suffered. Lydia could see it in his eyes. She could hear it in his voice, and she knew then that the breach between them had to be healed so they could meet on level ground once more. “Gray—”

He waved his hand dismissively. “I don’t know what I was thinking inviting you to dinner. After the mess I made of everyone’s life, why am I even subjecting you to my company?”

He got up from the table and went and stood in front of one of the room’s windows.

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